Just when I think this topic has run its course, there’s another new example of car ownership without logic. While we support drivers making their cars unique, there is a line which can be crossed.

In fact, it’s easy to tell when to stop: It’s right about the time when you’ve spent so much time and money customizing that you could have bought a far superior car than the mutant thing now parked in your driveway.

And in case you feared this was a merely theoretical shot across the bow… I have examples.

I only wish I didn’t.

First of we have this owner of a Nissan 240z. A great classic sports car and I applaud anyone for wanting to keep it running well. However, this owner seems to wish he owned a newer Z car but couldn’t bring himself to actually buy one.

Take a close look at the engine. Notice that bolted in behind that radiator is the heart of a 350z. And apparently there was a sale on sheets of honeycomb metal, but I think this is the first time they’ve been used as “engine dressup”. Oh, and in spite of what the label says… that engine isn’t supercharged.

But if this were just an engine swap it could be excused, this Franken-Z goes on. Look closely at this shot and you’ll see that’s the rear window of a 240, but the wheel, cluster, dash, and console of a 350z.

Luckily the owner attempted to give this mutant a name. Yet sadly, that leaves us more confused. The “M” badge makes us think BMW. And the 3.5 reminds me of the old Mustang 5.0 badges, yet it seems both numbers are from different parts bin, sizes and fonts.

This contraption is like the sixty-year-old with so much plastic surgery she doesn’t look twenty, she looks like the Joker’s second wife. I shudder to think what this car cost to cobble together, and I’m wondering if it’s too late for a refund.

And next we have a mystery. Take a good long look. What car was this before it was struck by obsessive bad taste and a wallet with extra cash?

I admit that’s a tough angle, so I’ll help you out. This, dear reader, is a Mid-90s Mitsubishi 3000GT. A decent car, but certainly not good enough for obsession or bad enough to deserve treatment like this.

Besides the basic shape, so much has been changed on this car it boggles the mind. Those headlights look entirely out of place (they original lights bisected the hoodline and were a completely different shape.) And the front fascia seems to have openings from a range of manufacturers.

Yet most inexplicable is the vinyl. I admit I don’t know what possesses a person to decorate their car with vinyl in the first place… but deciding it should look like wood paneling takes a special kind of headspace. Who does this?

Apparently, this guy. That’s him leaning up against the rear quarter panel. I’ve seen this disaster on display many times, and he never leaves this car. He waits, hoping someone will get close enough so he can tell them of his fantastic handy-work. Or maybe point out the yellow and black leather interior with enormous exposed speakers. And he’ll definitely want you to see the random dragon logo on the back.

How much did this cost? How many far better vehicles could be purchased for the same amount? I could have asked him, I realize, but I was afraid of becoming sick on his vinyl.

Not that it would have really hurt anything.

So the Awarning here is clear. We encourage changes which make your car stand out from the pack. But please keep a running tally and assign someone as your resident skeptical accountant. Once your crazy plans reach “better car” levels of time and cost… do yourself a huge favor… Buy a better car.

Call us. We can help you.

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