One of the blessings (or curses?) of car obsession is the ability to recognize vehicles from just seeing a headlight or the curve of a fender. Yet badge-envy reigns supreme in car-dom. And no matter the car under the badge, some folks think if it claims to be a better car then it actually becomes a better car. As if calling your girlfriend Kiera will turn her into a sexy British waif. Feel free to try.

Not long after I started driving I remember seeing a Volkswagen Corrado, a car I loved in the 90s, driving in front of me with the VW badge replaced by a BMW Roundel. Since this was before camera-phones (and internet, and running water) I couldn’t take a picture but marveled at that moment for years later.

Sadly that person was not alone. And these days I do have a camera phone.

You see the problem here, right? There’s nothing inherently wrong with the Lexus IS series, except the 350 is neither: a) shockingly powerful or b) a Mercedes Benz. AMG is Mercedes in-house tuner division, and they’d sooner torch a Lexus than tune it. People who know AMG will know this. And people who don’t know AMG won’t even notice this badge. So who is this for? Apparently the owner really wishes they bought a tire-shredding german monster instead of a Japanese Econo-lux. And all they could afford was the badge.

How about this:

Elusive concept car? Exclusively-rare family sedan? X badges?   How Mysterious…

Nope.      Silver. Toyota. Camry.    Three of the most common words in all of the car industry.

This isn’t fooling anyone. And if it is then get smarter friends. No matter what the trunk lid claims, this car is anything but “Limited”. Ben and Jerry’s could start selling vanilla as “Super Secret Wonder Flavor” and it would still be common.

But wait, there’s more!

This one gets better the more time you spend with it. On first glance… well, the “B” logo is never going to turn a $30k Chrysler into a $300k Bentley. Nice try.

Then, I walked around the side and the story got better. It’s not a Chrysler 300, but a Dodge Magnum Wagon! So I’m supposed to be wowed by Bentley’s first ever muscle car station-wagon. Wow! How exclusive!

Why didn’t I hear about this car when it came out? Why weren’t we invited to the press-launch?

Oh, that’s right. Cause it’s a Dodge Magnum, a Bentley badge, and some glue.

So the Awarning is this: We’re big believers in customizing your car. Make it yours, and turn it into something unique enough that you’ll never see another one the same. But sticking a better badge on the hood doesn’t make it unique, it shows that you live in denial.

We’d all like a more expensive car. Exclusivity is fun.

But dress up parties are for Halloween. Don’t add.

Your Camry is still a Camry. Your Dodge is still very much a Dodge. And whatever badge you took off isn’t fooling anyone but you. Congratulations, you lose.